What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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