'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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