a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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42

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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