Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...