- Anti Joke

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

How do you make a snake blink? You can't

2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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