Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops