Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops