I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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