What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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