Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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knock knock come in

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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kennah campion when she talks

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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