How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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