Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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