A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Pickles are powerful

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops