Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops