Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

thumb_up thumb_down +3

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ben Affleck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops