Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops