"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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