So a baby seal walks into a club.

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69

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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womens rights

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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