What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Liars go to hell! -God

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops