Anti-jokes are funny.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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