What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Take part of what?

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops