how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops