Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

Ms Leong Sux

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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