Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

your mama's so fat... that's it

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

Get up Look in the mirror

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

Guy1: Hey! Do you want to hear a potassium joke? Guy2: Sure! Guy1: K

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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