What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Antijokes...

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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