Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Knock knock knock OCD

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops