Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Okay.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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