Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

derp

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...