What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stairs? A:Because someone pushed him down.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Your sex life.

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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