how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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