A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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