Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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