What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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