Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Here's a joke for you, my life...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops