Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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