a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

What does? 42

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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