A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...