Jess Burns

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Kenny G

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh my gosh, my yard is on fire!!!

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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