What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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Obama

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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