Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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Why did the priest renew his...SHIT, A BEAR!!

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Nickelback

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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No joke.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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Why are haikus dumb Because they are just stupid Get it a haiku It is a haiku hashaha

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I am the sun. You are the moon.

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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