A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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GooglePlus.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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