im jewish

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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What what In the butt

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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I like to eat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What's big? Jupiter.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops