What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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The number one killer of daredevil's is the ground.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Jews for Jesus

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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