Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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