whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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theres a fat guy

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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does this look unsure to you?

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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