Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +30

GRAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops