why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Freedom of Speech

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to see a bad joke look above

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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