How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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the WNBA.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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