Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops