Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

I love alchohol!

there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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