Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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