How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops