What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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it was all Tagart

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops