Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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