Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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